Life is unfair and it’s a parent’s job to ensure children know it

We should stop telling kids how wonderful they are and instead teach them to accept life’s injustices and become resilient adults

Those who evangelise about teaching children resilience are typically rightwing commentators who believe children should go to the school of hard knocks to “acquire” it. By this token, to take it to extremes, being bullied does you no end of good because it “knocks the edges off you”.

However, throwing you to the wolves does not make you resilient. It makes you dog meat. “Toughening up” doesn’t mean maximising pain in the hope that you will end up inoculated from its effects. Yes, learning resilience is important. However, not only has it been misunderstood, it also seems to have dropped down the parenting agenda (perhaps because of the painful memories of people who, like me, grew up being told to “get on with it and not make a fuss”).

What psychologists call the 'just world myth' – 'If I’m good, only good things will happen to me' – has to be resisted

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from Children | The Guardian http://ift.tt/2nj5CKQ