How can we help my violent young granddaughter?

Give her time and space to try to begin to explain what’s wrong, says Annalisa Barbieri

I am in an awful situation and at a loss as to what to do. My 59-year-old husband is in a nursing home with a terminal condition. I have a 19-year-old who has just left home (I gave her an ultimatum because of repeated bad behaviour), and my 27-year-old daughter and nine-year-old granddaughter live with me. Until a few months ago, my older daughter had only dated; she didn’t introduce my granddaughter to any of these men. However, she has now met a lovely man who stays on weekends, and that is becoming a problem. My granddaughter is happy in his company until her bedtime, when she becomes abusive and violent (she has trashed her bedroom many times). She is mostly fine with me – she can be a bit rude, but I can handle that. At Easter, when my daughter and her boyfriend were out on a date, my granddaughter cut long slits in their clothes and bed sheets.

They go out a lot at the weekend all together and, despite having great experiences, my granddaughter can still sulk and be moody. She says she hates her mother’s boyfriend, but is happy to spend time with him alone. What can we do?

Related: I want to cut off contact with my mother – but worry about my sister

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from Children | The Guardian https://ift.tt/2JBxoIh