My 15-year-old son is spending the night with his older girlfriend

You sound incredibly passive, says Annalisa Barbieri. This woman could be prosecuted if they are having sex

I am the mother of two children. My eldest is 21 and at university. My husband is the father of my son, who has just turned 15. I brought up both of my children to have good self-esteem and independence, but I fear this has now backfired. The 15-year-old has met someone he really likes; she is three years older than him and lives with her mother and older brother. At first, he would have this new girlfriend round for the evening. We would go to bed, tapping on his door, telling him not to stay up too late. When one of us got up in the night, we would notice that her shoes were still in the house. The next day, my son would say, “Oh, we both fell asleep watching movies.” So that’s how them spending the night together started. When we said it wasn’t appropriate, he started staying at her house. I know he has had good sex education at school, and we have talked to him about contraception. My own sex life started when I was 15, so I am not too worried about that.

We recently invited his girlfriend’s mother round and got on well. We had a conversation about our son not spending too many nights with her daughter, particularly when he has school the next day. She agreed, but said her daughter is so happy with our son. (The girlfriend is working for a year before going to college.) Now the summer holidays have arrived, our son is spending every night with his girlfriend, and eating there as well. I find it really upsetting that he is never at home. I’ve tried to tell him how it makes me feel, and when that happens, he reluctantly comes home for a short period of time. If I get upset and tearful about his absences, my husband calls him and insists he comes home on his own and sleeps in his own bed, which he does for one token night. I don’t want to come on too strong and drive him away completely, but I feel he is too young to be virtually living with his girlfriend.

Related: I’ve been in love with the ‘wrong’ man for a decade

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from Children | The Guardian https://ift.tt/2BJtaQ7