Don't tell your child not to stare at disabled people – we are already invisible enough

Admonishing children for staring at disabled people conditions them to always look away. There is a better approach

When I became a wheelchair user, needing to be pushed by a carer, I expected the lack of freedom. What I didn’t expect was the invisibility. It’s partly because the last time I was at this height on wheels people were cooing at me, hoping to see me dribble. Now they see a wheelchair and turn aside in case they see me dribble.

Polite adults are conditioned to look away from disabled people because they fear saying or doing the wrong thing. I am invisible. It is my new superpower. One time at an airport, a check-in clerk glanced over my head then asked my husband, “What’s her name?” She was a brave woman: in a wheelchair I am at the perfect height for head-butting someone in the groin.

Related: So when a high-profile civil servant is disabled, the press finds its sympathy | Frances Ryan

While I don't love it when people stare at my son, I do understand it: he's not behaving in the way they expect. And, most beautifully - they have not yet learned to ignore him.

You can be an example of empathy: if a child is having a meltdown, they may be autistic or have sensory processing difficulties. Perhaps you can say 'maybe they find the shops a really hard place to be'.

Related: After multiple inquiries into aged care and little progress, we need a cultural shift | Joe Ibrahim

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from Children | The Guardian https://ift.tt/2C7RSYV